#AdoptionRocks Part 5: A Mustard Seed of Faith

So, a few years ago, a virtual friend became a real life friend and we realized we were pretty much living parallel lives: We loved Jesus, taught PR at Research 1 Institutions - in the SEC nonetheless, were married to a pastors, had two kids about the same age and were both trying to be runners. I loved her instantly and wished we lived closer and could share life over lots of coffee and maybe even collaborate on research.

When I became a Noonday Collection Ambassador, Lisa was among the first to say "yes" to hosting a show. I packed all my lovelies and headed to Baton Rouge for what turned out to be one of the most fun nights EVER! And now, over two years later - I'm still going to Baton Rouge for shows with this amazing group of ladies that I have come to love so much! They love Jesus and each other so well, and I can't help but want to be with them as often as possible.

One of those sweet soul sisters I have met in this circle is Liz. She's a boy mama, (Bless.) and her honesty and ability to speak encouragement are amazing! She speaks life and love and asks hard questions that just make you want to be a better person. It has been so fun to rally with her tribe around her as she and her sweet family prepare their home for their precious girl from India. I am so excited today to share a little about her family's adoption journey...  

IN HER OWN WORDS...

“If the Lord wants to grow our family by adoption, then I want us to be open to His leading.” My husband’s words flowed with such ease and confidence. Yet the gravity of his statement took my heart by storm.

My name is Liz and I am saved by grace by my Lord Jesus. I've been married to my high school sweetheart, Kenny, for over 14 years. We are living a wild, boy-raising life with our 10 & 6 year old. We are currently waiting to bring our 14-month-old little girl home from India. We recently received a new picture of her, and I say with bone deep conviction -- she's absolutely precious beyond belief. Her big brown eyes and mocha skin melt our hearts. She's recently cut two bottom teeth and was standing up looking as if she was on a mission. She probably was. That's my girl!!! We can't wait to hold her, examine her little fingers and toes like all parents do with their new baby. We are all ridiculously ecstatic as we prepare for our new family member. People, we just bought our very first doll. It was a huge deal! Complete with snapping pictures and texting it to loved ones. This is a tender time for us. So much left to do and prepare, but in the midst of it, there are these quiet, sacred moments where I go sit in her room. I often think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, when just after His birth she was found "treasuring up all these things, pondering them in her heart." On a teeny weeny scale, I get that. Treasuring up these things God has given us and pondering them in my own heart. How great He is!

The Hill Family is almost complete! So sooooonnnn!!

We set out on the journey of growing our family by adoption after Kenny and I had a conversation in the spring of 2009 about what direction we sensed the Lord taking us. As we shared our thoughts and hearts, it was undeniable that adoption was where we were headed, but we were without any further details at that time. As the years continued to unfold a few things began to change from bewilderingly blurry to clear; though we still didn’t have the entire picture. We sensed the Lord leading us to welcome a little girl from India into our tribe. Suddenly, all things India were thrust before us everywhere we turned. News stories, random circumstances in grocery store aisles (I promise that's no exaggeration) and many conversations with friends and mentors.

2012 was a major turning point for us and it became overwhelmingly obvious that the Lord’s timing to begin the formal process was upon us. With assurance in our hearts and our knees knocking together we took a leap of absolute faith and jumped into the world of international adoption. That initial plunge was over 3 years ago. We began the paperwork process in June 2012, sojourned to a new city in January 2013 and received our referral for our little girl in March 2015. We knew this would not be a speedy, by Western standards, kind of ride. I am thankful our expectations were not different. We were counseled with staggering honesty by our agency that this journey was not going to resemble a sprint, but rather a marathon. I would add, SEVERAL marathons. Maybe even few triathlons mixed in as well. I'll also add that I'm no athlete either! They told us it would take deep commitment and loads of patience and flexibility as things change constantly.

Check.


Got it.


WAIT!!



Did he say “patience AND flexibility?” I’m about as flexible as a 2x4. And patience? Like both at the same time? After my “Are You sure about this, God??” moment, I knew that total reliance upon the Lord rather than my usual "I've got this covered" response would be non-negotiable from here on out. There have been incredible highs and lows intricately woven throughout the fabric of time that has unfolded. We’ve literally seen mountain top miracles and deep, dark valleys, sometimes all at once. We bear witness to the indescribable, unchangeable, insurmountable steadfastness and faithfulness of the Lord. He has proven Himself trustworthy over and over as He has provided every need we've had. We've dined on a delicacy of rice and beans along the way but not one time have we had to resort to eating canned dog food like I had envisioned we would due to the staggering costs.

Okay. I'm kidding...Not really...But seriously...

He provided the financial requirements through t-shirt fundraisers, garage sales, unexplainable generosity from family, friends and strangers as well as overwhelming support from Noonday Collection trunk shows. He has provided in times of tracking down hard-to-obtain required documents, stamina when the nights are long and treasured ones who pray their hearts out on our behalf. He has deeply and intimately comforted us as our hearts ache for our family to be united. He has lavishly given us dump truck loads of grace. He has graciously and powerfully imparted new patience and flexibility that were certainly not characteristic of me prior to this adventure and in fact are still growing as we continue on!

HE. IS. FAITHFUL. 

Although the past 3 years have challenged us, pushed us to places we never knew our faith in Christ would take us and rocked our sense of safe and predictable to the core, I would not change anything if I could. God has grown our faith and He continues to purge us from self-reliance. He has caused our worship to be in Spirt and truth as we cry out to Him with praises of thanksgiving and confessions of utter dependence on Him. He is majestic and tender, our Heavenly Father who knows exactly what is needed to conform us to the image of His Son. He has used this journey of adoption to tip over the apple cart of our lives, for His glory and our good. And He didn't just stop with us! The people the Lord has brought along for the ride has been truly stunning. As we wait with joyful anticipation for the call to get on a plane and venture to our daughter’s native land, we KNOW this much: that He has gone before us, He hems us in, and His hand of blessing is upon us, just as His word tells us so. Like a perfect ravioli, we are totally enveloped in His grace. 

Though the participation in adoption is for every Christian, how He leads us as individuals in that calling varies. But I want to personally and specifically encourage anyone who may be sensing the tug in their spirit from the Lord about their family being grown by adoption. The constant what-ifs that swirl in your mind, how will this or that work out, what about the money? Maybe you’re like me with the patience and flexibility madness. You fear that you don't have it together enough to adopt. You're totally off the hook because the truth is, NONE of us do and apart from the work of God's grace in our lives, we are all up the creek. You wonder how it will impact your biological children. Maybe the plate is already so full of responsibility that one more meatball on the top and the whole thing is going to come crashing down. I get it. All of it. All of the questions, doubts, the scenarios that cause you to catapult out of bed from a sound sleep at 3 a.m. It can be so consuming and distracting. But be encouraged dear, fellow sojourner! God is not timid, turned off, derailed or debilitated by our weaknesses. In fact, Scripture tells us the opposite -- that His power is made perfect in our weakness. I can’t promise you that He will give you a 3-point outline of how it will all unfold, complete with a backup plan in case things get nutty. That certainly hasn’t been His way with us at all. But may I gently suggest that if the Lord is beckoning you to this journey, trust Him. That might sound like an eye-rolling cliche, but it is truth nonetheless. Not once has He promised that this road was going to be easy and trouble free. His call wasn’t one to join Him on an idle vacation with cute pineapple drinks adorned with mini paper umbrellas, but rather to follow Him on the steep and narrow way. We stepped out in mustard seed sized faith and have been graciously met by the Lord of Heaven and Earth, who has moved mountains on our behalf.

Hymn writer John H. Stockton says it best....

... Only Trust Him, Only Trust Him, Only Trust Him Now...

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See? I told you she's stinkin' amazing! It is such a privilege to call her "friend" and to have been a small part of her family's journey through Noonday Collection adoption fundraisers. I'm headed to Baton Rouge today to spend time with these beautiful friends, and I couldn't be more excited! If you've been inspired by Liz's story and want to be a part of it, you can support her show by shopping here. 20% of total sales from this show will be donated to the Hill's adoption expenses!

Stay tuned, friends! There's so much goodness coming your way in this #WorldAdoptionDay series!

#AdoptionRocks, Part 4: Empty Nest to Triple Stroller in 10 Days

A few weeks ago, when I began to wrestle with my role in the #WorldAdoptionDay campaign, I shared my desires with several friends. I really just wanted use my blog as a platform  to share stories of encouragement from friends and strangers who live "adoption" everyday. My sweet friend Melissa, whose story I shared here to kickoff this month-long series, suggested I contact a friend of hers about submitting a post...and I'm so glad she did! 

As I read Emily's story for the first time, the tears, y'all. I cannot even imagine the roller coaster of emotions, but I don't want to give too much of the story away, so just grab a tissue (or two!) and jump into this beautiful picture of God's amazing love and perfect timing! 

In Her Own Words...

The McAnear Family

The first day we met Joey, I was at work. Joey didn't come to us the way most children come to couples. We didn't have a nine-month pregnancy to prepare for her. She came through the foster care system in our county. We had spent months in parenting classes, hours on home studies and lots of money on cleaning supplies and child locks for cabinets to make our home up-to-code by the county's standards.

I honestly don't remember the drive to the office. I just remember sitting down in the small social services office on this little couch that was clearly meant for kids to play on. We had our adoption social worker in the room as well as the matching coordinator who helped decide which family was the best fit for this little girl. They gave us some legal information and some biological information about Joey. Then, they brought her in. One word I have for this moment is "bouncy." She. Was. Bouncy. She was almost 2 (21 months to be exact.) She had curly dark brown hair that fell to her shoulders. She had brown eyes that sparkled and lashes that reached to the end of the world. She smiled easily and talked a mile a minute. For as young as she was, she had a large vocabulary already. I think we were in the social services office for 2 hours. It may have been less, but it seemed like an eternity.

When we left that office in August 2005, we were parents. It happened so fast that our heads were spinning. We hardly knew what to do next. I remember stopping at the grocery store on the way home for some necessities when parenting a toddler - things like cheerios, peanut butter, bread, milk. It's strange to think, now - after having been a parent for some 8 years or so, that there was ever a time when we didn't stock those things like they were going out of style. Joey called me "Mommy" the first night she was with us. "Daddy" took a little longer but once it came, it came strong. She has a true and distinct attachment to her daddy. 

The McAnear Crew!
Regan (7), Joey (11),  Andrew and Elijah (10)

Becoming a mom to Joey also meant becoming a mom to her biological brother. A brother she had hardly ever seen and had never shared a home with. Elijah came into our home two months or so after Joey (October 2005). He was so tiny. He was six months old when we took him but had been born about 3 months early. He had a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy due to a seizure that he had after he was born. We were scared to say the least. There was no guarantee that this tiny creature would talk, walk or be able to do anything by himself in the future. He came with physical therapy appointments, medication to ward off seizures and visits to a pediatric neurologist. Thankfully, he also came with months of a prayer covering from his sweet and Godly foster mom. Prayers that were honored and heard.

I have to believe that the foster care system tries to do the right thing by all the kids they have coming through it. I have to believe that because if I let my heart go to the left or right it takes me down a dark path of cynicism and criticism of the system. Our human attempts at doing the right thing pale in relation to Jesus, don't they?

A few short months (January 2006) after blending these beautiful babies into the family, a family member who had never met the kids asked to take them. So, out of foster care they went. Out of their beds, out of their rooms, out of our home. We thought we would never see them again. There were no plans for us to ever be a part of their lives. No human plans, that is. We pleaded with the relative to send them back if she ever had second thoughts about keeping them. We told her they would always have a place in our home, even if it was years from now. She nodded, and told us to not hold our breath.

We went home heartbroken. We were reminded of our loss every time we walked down the hall of our home. So, we tried again. Our social worker went to work on finding another child for us. 

GOTCHA Day! 

Three weeks after we lost Joey and Elijah, our social worker called with another baby. A 9-month old boy, almost ready to finalize. Andrew came home with us a couple days later. Andrew came to us hitting every developmental milestone. This would become so important to us in coming weeks and months. My husband and I settled in to having a baby in the house and managing our grief of not having Joey or Elijah with us.

Thankfully, that grief did not last long. Only 10 days (yes, 10 days!) after taking Andrew, our social worker called. It was not a normal call. It was the kind of call that you want to be sitting down for. He called my husband at work first, which is good because I may have fallen over. He asked us if we were really willing to take Joey and Elijah back. What?! OH!

That afternoon, a car arrived in our driveway carrying Joey and Elijah. In the course of 10 days, we had gone from having no kids in our home to being the parents of three kids under three. Oh, the craziness! The diapers! The formula! The triple stroller! Yes, we went there. Elijah and Andrew are only nine days apart! Try explaining that to people when they ask! Elijah, who had been dealing with significant developmental delays, now had a brother who was not delayed. Would you believe God put those two boys together to strengthen and help each other?!

Moving day! From Cali to Houston, 2015.

We have since moved from Southern California to Houston, and I have had the privilege on a couple occasions of literally seeing the sky open up and pour down rain with all the force of the universe (Did I mention I had a flair for the dramatic?). This day, this reunification day for our family was one of metaphorical outpouring by God. He moved mountains to bring this little family together. He changed minds, changed hearts and moved people out of His way.

I have said in the past (and will continue to say) if you are not a believer before you start this process of adoption, you certainly will be by the end. There is no one to rely on but God Himself. There were many times while in the thick of the process I let the enemy tell me that God had forgotten us.  Now, looking back, I know that nothing could have been further from the truth. Every bump in the road was a step up to the plan He had. As it turned out, our family was not complete with those three. We were blessed with a biological daughter in December 2007 the same week we signed finalization paperwork for Joey and Elijah. Our little family isn't so little in most people's eyes. But if nothing else, it is blessed.

Might I leave you with a verse? Psalm 127:1a says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain." May our labor never be in vain and may Jesus never be too far from our lips.

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Wow, right? I'm just in awe of the McAnear's faith in God's perfect plan and timing. I'm pretty sure if had I been the one having to "give back" those precious babies, there would have been some quick flights booked to a foreign land. Just sayin', y'all! But oh, how beautiful the story when we give Him the pen, and let Him do the writing. His love endures forever, sweet friends, even when it feels otherwise in the moment. He is always, always for us, y'all. Always.

I just received the next post today from my sweet friend, Liz, who's preparing to travel to India very soon to bring home her beautiful baby girl. I cannot wait to share her story with you in a few days!

#AdoptionRocks, Part 3: Four Children from Three Continents

I am so excited to share the Gordon's story! I have watched it unfold and continue to be amazed at their obedience and faith. They have done hard things with grace and love -- and are amazing advocates for the orphan in their community. I am so privileged and blessed to call them "friends." 

When I first met Meaghan, I was visiting Mississippi State University on an interview for a faculty position. She was a bright student just months away from graduating from Miss State and was heading to University of Alabama to pursue a master's degree. I remember that her professors could not say enough good things about her and her future. I could have never imagined just how God would cross our paths again nearly 10 years later. 

Our mutual friend, Kelli, wanted to host a Noonday Collection adoption fundraiser for Meaghan's family as they were working so hard to bring Max home from Ethiopia. We partnered together (with Meaghan's mom hosting at her beautiful home) for an such a fun night -- and we raised nearly $1,000 to help with sweet Max's adoption expenses thanks to the amazing support of the Gordon's family and friends. Who would have guessed there would be several more shows to not only help with Max's expenses, but also to help bring home his baby sister, Mamie, who joined their precious family August 1!

Check out this sweet video the Gordon's church featured on their family's adoption story, and then dive into Meaghan's beautiful reflections on the story God is writing for their little family! 

IN HER OWN WORDS....

My husband Wes and I have been married 10 years this month, and I can promise you that way back in 2005 as we were dreaming and planning of what our lives would look like in 2015, neither of us could have guessed that a decade later we would have four children born on three different continents. But, here we are, and we wouldn’t change a thing!

Two biological kiddos, one born in Ethiopia, and one born in China -- still hard for me to believe that I am blessed to be mom to Mary Reeves, Murphy, Max and Mamie. Adoption is a beautiful, tragic, wonderful, messy, redemptive thing. No matter how they joined our family, our kiddos are so loved and cherished. We pray that the Lord will guide us as we parent our transracial family through added layers of race and culture, loss and gain, and questions that we may never be able to answer. He knit our family together in such a unique way, and we wait expectantly for how He might use our stories to further His kingdom.

We have come through the waiting stage twice…yes, it is hard for families who wait, but oh how much harder for the precious kids who spend their days and nights in orphanages. We have celebrated kissing two of our babies for the first time after many sleepless nights, mountains of paperwork, thousands of prayers, tens of thousands of dollars, and stamps in our passports following flights across the ocean. We have felt the elation of landing at our tiny, local airport to introduce the newest Gordon to a host of family and friends.

Photo by Hayden More Photography
The Gordon Family August 1, 2015

We are now knee deep in cocooning with our littlest (that’s adoption speak for keeping our world small as we transition our precious daughter into our family, language, culture, etc.) We have a whole lifetime of parenting our children ahead of us. We are so thankful for the many little lives we’ve been entrusted with, yet we will forever mourn the missed minutes and milestones with our youngest pair. Their first mothers chose to give life to these miracles, and we will honor them always.

I know now that adoption has so many more layers than I knew about when we filled out our first application in 2011. I LOVE adoption…how it has grown my family and how it has grown me as a person. I love the community and the relationships we have made thanks to adoption. I love supporting adoptive families, and I love companies such as Noonday that provide financial assistance because that can be a huge barrier for many prospective families. We were blessed by the generosity shown our family through several adoption trunk shows held for us over the past several years. Purchasing through these shows helps both the adoptive family and the artisans’ families in vulnerable communities, basically a means of family preservation.

As we approach #WorldAdoptionDay, I remember the birth families, the nannies, the prayer warriors and listening ears, the stylish Noonday wearers, the agency staffs and orphanage directors, the generous family and friends, the casserole deliverers, the medical teams, the church, and everyone else who has played a part in our story. Most of all, I celebrate the precious little boy and little girl who don’t share my DNA but who call me Mommy today. May I live up to that title through the Lord’s leading and encourage others who are walking the same path to parenthood.

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I love the common thread that God is weaving in each of these adoption stories! He loves us, y'all! Like real deal, fights hard for us in dark places, LOVES US! Adoption is such a beautiful pictures of that love - and of His patience with us when we're resistant or unreachable. He waits for us to realize it and then lets us climb right up in His lap and be lavished with it...when we're ready.

Want to read more about the Gordon's journey? Head over to their blog and read more!

Stay tuned, friends! There's more amazingness coming in just a few days!

#AdoptionRocks: In Her Own Words, Part 2

Melissa when we met
in 3rd grade

As I explained in my previous post, I'm featuring an entire month of guest blog posts focused on ADOPTION to help raise awareness for #worldadoptionday November 9. Noonday Collection has a special partnership with adopttogether.org October 1 - November 9 that will  (hopefully) result in hundreds of thousands of dollars being raised for the sole purpose of helping bring children into their forever homes. It makes me want to host adoption fundraisers Every. Single. Day. to make it happen for all these precious children and these amazing families waiting to welcome them home. 

To kick off this amazing month, I cannot think of another person in the world that I would rather have share her adoption story! While we hate to say it this way, she really is one of my oldest friends. I have known Melissa (Head) Humphrey for over 30 years. She quickly became one of my best friends after I moved to Mena, Arkansas, in 3rd grade. We even had best friend pictures made in high school with coordinating outfits and mile-high bangs (I'll save those pictures for another post! You're welcome.). It was - and still is - the real deal friendship that has spanned miles and moves and marriages and children.

Reports of Melissa's earliest days.

Although I've known her for years, Melissa's story is still painful to think about for me - from so many perspectives. She was abandoned by her mother in a green house in Austin, Texas, at just two weeks old. The anguish her mother must have felt to walk away from her precious child, believing that this was the best - or possibly only - choice she had. I can't even, y'all. Then there's the anticipation that Melissa's adoptive parents and older brother must have felt in all those months of waiting for their baby girl to come home. And even now, how as an adult and an amazing mother to her own little boys, all the emotions involved as Melissa continues to process all the information she has since learned about her earliest days...it's just so much.

After her discovery in the greenhouse, Melissa spent 4 months in foster care before finally arriving at home with her amazing parents, who have loved - and continue to love -  her oh-so well. Had it not been for her sweet parents' obedience and faithfulness to respond to the desire God put on their hearts to grow their family through adoption, I would have never had the gift of her friendship.

** An important side note  Melissa's mom still ranks as my ALL-TIME FAVORITE TEACHER! Shout out to Mrs. Head's 5th grade class!

During my recent trip to Dallas, I asked Melissa if she'd be willing to share her story on my blog and her perspective on adoption; I can't wait to share it with you today! Melissa was also asked last year by her church family to share her story as part of their focus on how we are adopted in Christ, and you can watch the video here (And trust me, you want to...grab a tissue!).

IN HER OWN WORDS...

Melissa with her parents, Melba & Joe Head,
on her wedding day.

Adoption is one of my favorite things, because it always saves more than one life. Of course it saves the life of the child, but I’m willing to bet you’d have a hard time finding adoptive parents who would say their lives weren’t also saved by the opportunity to welcome the blessing of a child into their lives.

Adoption is also one of my favorite things because it’s what brought me to my family. Even though I was abandoned as an infant by my birthmother, my adoptive parents chose to have me as part of their family. Actually, it was God who orchestrated it all.

“I was thrust into Your arms at my birth. You have been my God from the moment I was born.” – Psalms 22:10 NLT

Melissa (4 months old), the
day after coming home.
Isn't she the cutest?

My parents and big brother had prayed for a baby for many years, and God said “yes” to their prayers in His perfect timing and placed me in their arms. My birthmother was selfless enough to give me life, and my adoptive parents were selfless enough to give me “a” life.

I really wish there weren’t 101,840 children in foster care, waiting to be adopted (as of 2013). And that’s just in the United States alone! I spent the first four months of my life in a very loving foster home, but that wasn’t where I was meant to stay. God knew exactly where He wanted my forever home to be. Those 101,840 children desperately need forever homes, too.

I also wish there weren’t more than 3,000 American babies killed by abortion every single day (as of 2011). Staggering, huh? An alternate – but also staggering – statistic is that in the U.S., there are approximately two million infertile couples waiting to adopt. After some quick math, supposing that, starting tomorrow, no more abortions took place … at those rates, it would take less than two years for each one of those couples to adopt a baby into their homes and into their hearts. We must look for ways to wrap our arms around these scared, pregnant women, to encourage them, to love them, and to let them know that there’s a better option.

Every child deserves a chance at life – whether inside or outside the womb.

“Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?” – Psalm 127:3 MSG

Melissa with her husband, Chad, and their precious boys, Carter and Chase.

What can we do about it? To make it even more personal, what can you do about it?

You might be thinking, “I just can’t adopt” or “Those situations don’t apply to me.” But what if – outside of the scenarios described above – there was something you could do? What if you really could make a difference? What about God’s plan for you? What about God’s plan for them? Have you asked Him?

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When I think about Melissa's story, I am so grateful that her birth mother chose LIFE and gave Joe and Melba the chance to love Melissa and give her the home she felt could not provide. Melissa's faith and obedience are such a testament to God's provision for her throughout her life. She is a Godly woman who is an amazing mama to her two funny little boys and loves her husband well. She is the kind of friend we all need in our lives; I'm so thankful God chose Mena, Arkansas, as her home so that our paths crossed and I can call her my friend. 

We each have a role to play in the adoption crisis in our world. You may not feel you've been called to adopt, but maybe your family would be a safe place for a foster child to grow and flourish while he or she waits for a forever home. Maybe you could provide a temporary loving home for a child coming to America for medical treatment. How precious would this gift be to a family separated from their child during this difficult time? 

Maybe you're not ready for those options or maybe just feel you've passed that window in your life. Reality is --> Adoption is expensive, some reaching well over $30,000. I don't know very many - ok, any -  adoptive families who would turn away your financial gift to support their adoption journey.

And y'all. WE CAN ALL PRAY. Pray for the millions of children around the world longing to be loved and cherished -- and just WANTED by someone...anyone. We can pray for the adoptive families as they wait: for peace in their hearts, smooth transitions into their homes and even financial provision.

Wherever you are with this situation, every Christ-follower has a responsibility to care for the orphan (Head to James 1:27, if you need to SEE it!). I ask you to earnestly seek His face over these next few weeks as you read these amazing stories and consider how He is calling YOU to respond -- and then ACT.

Stay tuned for the next post from my sweet friend, Meaghan! She and her husband have recently grown their family through adoption a second time and have such a beautiful family!