OUR HOME STUDY IS COMPLETE!
That, however, is not the case. We are getting closer, but when I think about our baby girl, it's not close enough. Every day feels like "too long" to be waiting on all the things to get done. There have been lots of tears shed these last few weeks. It feels like one of those one step forward, 6,783,593 steps backward kind of dances. I know it's not. Really, I do. Well, maybe.
So, where are we? We have two key (read: BIG) educational components left. I have to be re-fingerprinted because apparently my fingerprints are difficult to read. We are still waiting to hear about Jeff's. I have a psychiatric evaluation (Um, could this be the end of the road for us?) to do and then we can schedule our LAST - did you read that? - LAST home study visit. If I could insert emojis here, you would find a line of praise hands. We have loved our visits with our amazing case worker, but we are ready to move on from this part. Really ready. I mean, REALLY!
When I think about the adoption process and saying "Yes!" to God's leading us on this journey, I often find myself thinking, "Did we misunderstand? Surely He didn't mean this for US!" Full disclosure: I am not patient. I do not like paperwork. My husband has more things going on right now than he can keep up with. My boys are - well, they're boys. Active, loud boys.
|This was Eli's sentence for his sight word "get."|
Bless. Just bless.
But here we are.
Here we are muddling through this paperwork and trying not to mess it all up because on the other side of that mountain of paperwork is a baby girl waiting to be a part of our crazy family. Waiting to be loved. Waiting to have a mama and daddy to tuck her in at night. Waiting to have brothers who will probably drive her crazy, but also fiercely defend and protect her. Waiting.
But there are some God moments that shouldn't be missed and since I don't have more to report on our progress, I hope they will encourage you, too!
1) Last week was a rough week. A few things that we were calling "done" came "undone" and we felt frustrated and helpless because it was things that were pretty much out of our control. At the end of this rough week, God sent me a love note in the form of a sweeter-than-sweet note from a friend with a check enclosed for our adoption expenses.
He sees me.
2) Yesterday, I got a call that my psychiatric evaluation (Already rescheduled twice, again, due to circumstances outside of our control) was not postponed - but CANCELLED. I physically hurt when the sweet lady told me it might be June before she could get me in. Just a few hours later (there might have been some tears and angry words in those hours!), I got an email. From the clinic. 2 p.m. TODAY, y'all. TODAY!
He feels my pain.
3) In the midst of all this back-and-forth dancing, my two dear friends have organized and orchestrated a fundraiser for our baby girl! The Fair Trade Fashionistas have worked with the beautiful and incredibly talented ladies at UMUCYO Sewing Cooperative in Rwanda to design the Amie ("beloved" in French) make-up bag. Proceeds from the sale of it will go to our adoption -- and we ordered BIG! We are closing in on HALF of the bags already sold with just the pre-sales that began about a week ago! So exciting! The fact that these friends - one in North Carolina and one in Maryland - coordinated all the design and production with the ladies in Rwanda to help us bring our baby girl home from Haiti to Mississippi and dear, sweet friends all over the stinkin' U.S. are buying these bags...Y'all. We ARE connected!
He shares my JOY!
(PS: You should totally click AMIE above and snag yourself one - or a dozen - of these cute bags!)
4) A few weeks ago, on an especially tough day, a precious friend (and adoptive mama) sent me this message:
"Was just praying for you and your adoption. This came to mind,
and I felt compelled to share. I know it seems like such a long process,
and 2018 seems so far away, but our adoption process was over 3 years.
God used every day to prepare my heart, my husband's heart, our kids,
our families, our friends, our church and our community for our girl.
The process was such a time of growth and sanctification for me.
It was time that I did not want but looking back, I definitely needed.
He knows the perfect time for your baby girl to arrive...
not a day sooner or later. Will continue to pray for y'all.
Enjoy the journey and look for God in the tedious process.
I cannot even tell you what that meant in that exact moment! Nor how many times I've gone back to read it! I have truly had moments where I thought, "Why??!! You called us to this! Why are You leaving us?" And then little love notes - from friends, from strangers, from the people holding the paperwork, from all around.
HE SEES US. HE LOVES US.
HE LOVES OUR GIRL MORE THAN WE CAN IMAGINE.
HE IS FIGHTING WITH US. FOR HER.
And that's where the Walton: Party of 5 journey is today.