Monday, July 20, 2015

I Am Enough

"I am enough."

These words have become a bit of a battle cry for the Noonday Ambassador community after our fearless leader, Jessica Honeggar, encouraged us at our annual conference to run our own race and stop the comparisons. I love it! I love the idea of embracing who I am and the woman God has created ME to be. I love the FREEDOM that could result from doing that! 

Why, then, is that so dang hard?

As I sit in the Jackson, Miss., airport waiting to board a flight to Houston where I will connect with 11 amazing world-changing women and fly on to Quito, Ecuador, for a week...I'll be honest, I don't feel like "enough." I'm filled with doubts and insecurities that I am honestly ashamed to admit...

Am I smart enough? 

Are my clothes stylish enough?

Is my hair going to behave for the bazillions of pictures we are sure to take? Bless.

Will I be liked and accepted by others?

Did I forget anything essential? (Ok, that's not really related, but we're talking about the thoughts in my head, so yeah.)

Am I too "small town" to even hang with this group of ladies? 

Am I skinny enough to fit on the bus seats (The Ecuadorian people are small in stature, y'all. Keepin' it real.)

What if I pick the wrong Noonday for my outfit? For shame.

Ugh. It's just embarrassing, to be honest. I don't like the person in my head right now. She's whiney and obnoxious and makes me want to put my headphones in to drown her out...or really just want to smack her and say, "Get a grip, woman!" 

 And really, if I don't like me, how can I expect others to?

And there it is, friends.

Until I like me, how can I really expect others to? 

We all - no matter how introverted we may be - have a desire for fellowship with others and to be liked, accepted and. It's a basic human need that is just a few rungs up Maslow's ladder from water, food and shelter.

But the thing is, it's not really about what others think or their responses to those questions in my head (which I know, seem pretty silly to all those of you out there who comfortably live in your own skin...hats off and high fives to you, sweet friends!).

I want to be enough IN HIM to be confident in these situations. I want to be enough IN HIM to feel accepted and appreciated. I want to be enough to confidently walk into this week without feeling like an "outsider." I want to be enough IN HIM that I feel pretty - no matter what clothes I have on or how badly my hair may be behaving (Did I mention it's rainy season there? Bless.)

It's only in Jesus Christ that I am "enough." Enough of a wife because He's shown me how to love for better or worse. Enough of a mom because He's given me the ultimate example of sacrificial living for then sake of your children. Enough of a daughter/sister because He's given us us a heart for family. Enough of a friend because He's commanded me to love my neighbor as myself. Enough of a business woman because He's given me the skills and abilities to be successful. Enough of an advocate because He's given me the command and thus the courage and energy to care for the poor, the orphaned, the oppressed, the widowed... 


Probably not the way to kick off a travel blog series for a week-long adventure in Ecuador but it's my heart, y'all. And that's all I know to write here.

I am going to try to blog throughout this week so I can write and share the experience while it's all fresh and on my mind! Stay tuned, sweet friends! I'm about to smack the crazy girl in my head between Jackson and Houston and pull myself together for an adventure of a lifetime! 

No comments:

Post a Comment