Grace Like Rain

Well, it's been a minute, friends. Life has been a little crazy here in Walton World as we're navigating some new territory - figuratively and literally (more on that later!). If you've been waiting with bated breath for my next post, my apologies.

So, there's something God has been stirring in my heart recently. I've been in many conversations with dear friends about the various seasons of life we are facing and often find ourselves wrestling with. I've been encouraged by so much from these precious conversations, but also burdened by so much. I feel like God has put this on my heart to encourage others...here, specifically. 

It's about GRACE. Hold on tight, dear reader, and prayerfully read these next few paragraphs. At the end, if this word has encouraged you, will you share it? Will you pass along the link to a friend who needs it? Or share it on your social media? Because here's the thing - we don't know everyone's battle. What if it's your friend, spouse, family member or co-worker needs to hear this in their season of life?

On the realz: Sin is awful. It's THE THING that separates us from relationship and fellowship with the Holiest of Holies. It builds a seemingly insurmountable wall that creates distance and disappointment and discontentedness. And let's also be reminded here that ALL SIN IS THE SAME - there are no "little" sins or "big" sins in His view. My gossip and failure to set Godly priorities with my time is just the same as someone else's adultery or addiction. 

But GRACE, y'all. Grace is THE THING that restores that relationship, tears down that wall. Not working to do more or be more or give more or anything "more" - just with standing with arms outstretched in repentance allowing God's grace to pour down on us like an unexpected summer shower. Play in it, friends! Don't grab an umbrella and try to protect yourself from it. Don't run away from it and try to hide under the nearest shelter. Let it soak you slap to the core. Sticky clothes, crazy hair, running mascara, ruined favorite shoes and all. 

Why is it so hard to accept this grace He so freely offers? Why do we "protect" ourselves from it, oftentimes even running from it? 

My guess is that we have a really jacked up image of God's response when we come to Him with a repentant heart to confess our sins. I think we sometimes see Him responding like an angry wife who has just strewn her cheating husband's dirty laundry across the front yard for all the world to see as she pours out her hurt and wrath on him in a screaming - and very public - verbal assault. "There is it, people! All the things! You're a no-good, sorry, cheating excuse for a human being," she screams for all the world to hear.

But that's really not God's M.O. AT ALL.

So, let's just erase that image for a minute -- or forever. What if...

     * We see Him instead as Abba Father - our Daddy.

     * We see Him as a loving Father who allows us to crawl into His lap in the quiet of His study.

     * We see a gentle man who welcomes His wayward daughter/son into His arms.

     * We see Him as loving Father who already knows exactly what we've done, but LOVES US JUST THE SAME.

     * We see Him as a forgiving Father who corrects because He loves us too much to let us act "that way."

     * We see Him as a loving Father who guides us back to the right path out of deep and unwavering love for us and His sincere desire to not let us wallow in misery and shame any longer.

I've been there, friends. Oh, how I've been there. I've been in that nasty mud pit that Satan built to trap me, just wallowing in my sin and shame far too often and for too long. Covered in mud and cloaked in misery because I believed the lies that I'm not good enough, my sin was too big, my baggage to heavy, my future too bleak. 

Lies, sweet friends. All lies. Because it's not about what I've done (or will do!)...It's about what Jesus did. That is where this precious gift of grace comes from.

How precious are those moments in His lap! How tender and new are His mercies EACH DAY! I danced in it, friends! I danced in His abundant grace and felt the freedom. I let it wash over me...And because of this precious gift, I can dance in it EACH DAY!

So, today. Will YOU dance in the rain with me? Will YOU let His mercy and grace pour down on you? 

Amen. And Amen.

11 Years...and a Lifetime to Go!

Just because you really
need to see this!

Happy Anniversary to us! 

Today is Jeff and my 11th anniversary -- eleven whole (sometimes pretty long feeling) years. Those who have been married for decades may laugh at my "pride" in this accomplishment, but since 40% of marriages in American end divorce after about 8 years, I'll happily take my 11 (Source: Quora).

Last year for our anniversary, I posted my Top 10 favorite moments of our relationship. It hasn't always been rainbows and unicorns for the Waltons, but we've had some pretty fun times, and I'm confident we're just getting started.

And not to be out-done by last year, here are 11 pieces of advice I wish someone had told me about marriage some 11 years ago. You may have heard some of it before, but like most good advice - it's worth repeating. 

11. No matter how much you plead (or nag), boys are not the "neat" (or sometimes even clean) versions of the human race. I live in a house with three. I rest my case. Moving on. 

One of my favorite pics - EVER.

10. Having children changes everything. And let me say it again - EVERYTHING. From the way you spend your time to your priorities with money to the crazy voices that come out of your body when talking to an infant, children are a game changer. But I can honestly say watching Jeff be "Dad" makes me love him more as a husband. The first time I saw him hold the boys and how that big ol' guy melts at some of the sweet things that come out of those two crazies' mouths - well, I melt. He really is the best dad. 

9. Never say "never." There are so many things I said "I'll never..." or "There's no way..." and it seems as though it's those very things that I end up doing. Click here for Exhibit A with regard to marriage. Drop by and see me and the Reverend in Noxapater, y'all! 

8. Couple friends are important. Surrounding yourself with couples who are similar to you in faith and priorities can be a huge encouragement to your marriage. And Christian couple friends are also great sources of wise counsel when troubles come your way. You're probably not going to find a lot of couples that you both want to hang out with but you make the sacrifice for each other. 

7. You aren't marrying his/her family...but really, you are. I can't tell you how many times I heard people tell those soon-to-be-married folks, "You're not marrying his/her family!" But you are. You will spend holidays and all the other important life events together. And let's face - your spouse is largely who he or she is because of his/her FAMILY. So fight that one all you want, you better be darn sure you can look across that table at your in-laws for the rest of your (or their!) life with a smile on your face. Thankfully, this is a non-issue in our house because BOTH our parents are just perfect!

6. Have a life outside your marriage. While I do dearly love Jeff, I do not want to spend every waking moment with him - and I guarantee you, he'd say the same thing about me. We support each other in ministry and in life, but let's keep it real - I need some girl time. He does not care about my latest dilemma over which shoes to wear with what jeans or which Noonday Collection samples to purchase (although he does typically, and with much patience, weigh in when asked on both of these "issues." Bless.). Get out and make friends apart from one another and be involved in things without each other. It'll give you more to talk about over dinner! 

5. Pray for your spouse daily; you'll probably be surprised who changes. One of the most amazing things about praying for your spouse is that we often selfishly go into it praying for him or her to change...but then God does a miracle in our own hearts and we are often the one changed. I remember in the early days of our marriage, I prayed zealously over all "sins" I thought Jeff needed to get rid of that would undoubtedly make our lives better, right? Then God bought me to my knees one day with Matthew 7:5...

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, 

and then you will clearly see to remove the speck from your brother's eye." 

Ouch. There it is. 

Who knew "Coach" Walton
would one day be "Reverend"
Walton...I certainly didn't. 

4. Marry the person he/she is - not the person you think you can turn him/her into. Don't marry someone you think will eventually one day down the road once in a blue moon become the man/woman of your dreams. Marry the one who makes you laugh and that if you didn't have in your life, well, it just wouldn't be the same. Because some days are really rotten, and all you have is each other to turn to. Thank you, Jeff Walton, for always making me laugh...even sometimes when I don't want to.

3. Don't keep secrets. Not even about those hot new shoes hiding in the back of your closet waiting to make the perfect appearance a few months after they've been purchased when you can innocently say, "Oh, these old things? I've had them forever." Not even...not that I have ever done that. Bless. 

But seriously, this is a BIG one, friends. Secrets eventually come out and then there's even more issues to deal with. Just be honest - even if it's hard. Once trust has been broken, it's so much harder to gain back. Hurt heals faster with honesty.

2. Pick your battles. There are things worth fighting for and standing your ground about -- and then there are some things that you just have to say, "It is what it is!" And rock on, my friends. If I went to battle over ever little thing that bothered me in our marriage, we'd have a bloody mess around here. And I'm sure Jeff would say the same thing about me because well, let's face it - I'm not easy. 

1. Marriage is NOT a fairytale. Period. End of discussion. Roll those credits, Walt Disney. Love is a CHOICE. A moment by moment choice. It's intentional and takes work. I used to laugh at all those "old people" saying marriage was like a garden and you had to "tend to it" each day...and then I got married. You'll get out of your marriage what you put into, sweet friends. It's not easy. It's hard and messy and difficult and sometimes downright ugly - sometimes it's those things more than the sweet, sappy fairytalesque thing we have in our heads when we walk down the aisle dreaming of our happily ever after. But it's worth it. It's worth it to fight through the ugly and the messy to enjoy those fairytale moments when he surprises you with flowers for no reason, writes a lullaby for your boys, gives you the morning to sleep in or the afternoon to get a pedicure... Ok, maybe that doesn't sound "fairytale-ish" to you, but see #10 for context, friends. EVERYTHING.

We look like babies...
 probably because we were.

So, there you have it. I don't know that I'm very wise or have any of the secrets to a successful marriage, but I'm honest (maybe to a fault?) if nothing else. Looking back on our 11 years of bliss, these are a few of the most important things that have helped make it work at the Walton house. We're not perfect. We get angry and sometimes yell and slam doors (Gasp. It's true, people! Even preachers and preacher's wives argue. You're in on the secret. Use it wisely.). 

Regardless of what a particular day or even a particular moment looks like, we love each other. We made a choice to love each other eleven years ago...from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. And we meant it. Even if it's hard to do...we do it. We choose to do it. And I'd choose to do it all over again with this guy! 

Happy 11th Anniversary, Jeff Walton! You continue to amaze me, keep me laughing and somehow find it in your heart to love me well. Thank you...I know it's not easy.

He's NOT the Man I Married

Do you ever look across the dinner table at you spouse and think "He's/She's NOT the man/woman I married!"

Well, I do. Often. Because he's not. And it's a good thing he's not, if I'm being really honest. Not that he was "bad" when we married, but God is really doing an amazing thing with Jeff...and I'm just along for the ride.

Growing up, I had this image of what my Prince Charming would be like. He'd be tall, dark-haired and handsome (as was just about every girl's dream, right?) and he'd surely be a doctor or maybe a lawyer. As I got older and learned about more professions, I added Wall Street Stock Broker or maybe CEO of a Fortune 500 company to the possibilities of Prince C's occupations. Hey! A girl can dream!

Anyhoo. Two things I was adamant about my Prince NOT being? 1) A coach and 2) A preacher. Those were just two lifestyles I did not want to live. Too busy. Too much moving. Too chaotic. Too visible. Whatever. I just knew I didn't want to be a coach's wife OR a preacher's wife.

And then Jeff Walton happened.

He was a college men's basketball coach when we started dating and when we married, almost 11 years ago, he was transitioning to high school boys basketball. I knew what I was getting into, or so I thought. And I still had one thing I could dig my heals in on, right?

Enter 2007. Jeff left coaching and became the Director of Youth and Children's Ministry at FUMC Louisville (And how that went down is a story in itself!). It has been an amazing eight years of ministry! We have seen members of our first group of youth graduate college, get married and some even have children of their own. We have loved being a part of their lives and seeing them grow into amazing young men and women! We have been loved well by the FUMC Louisville family and it's the only church our boys have ever known. However, we have known our time there was coming to an end as Jeff nears the completion of his Master of Divinity at Asbury Theological Seminary.

Today, we are excited to share that we will be moving to Noxapater, Miss., where Jeff will be the Pastor at Noxapater FUMC. We are excited to join this church family and look forward to meeting all 419 people in Noxapater as we make it our new home! We are thrilled that God has given us a few more years in Winston County and are grateful to the UMC for this opportunity. The move to Noxapater is an answered prayer for me. As we have neared the time for Jeff's initial appointment, I have prayed (often feeling selfish about it!) for just a little longer with our people here in Winston County. While the boys will be moving schools in the fall, we are just 9 miles from "our people" and can't wait to add new people to those we are so blessed to do life with here!

So the moral of this story? Don't tell God what you're NOT going to do! It might be the very thing He calls you to do - maybe not immediately, but very possibly down the road. Let Him be the author of your story and quit trying to write your own. Because if you're like me, you'd just mess it up anyway!

Next time you look lovingly across the table at your spouse and think, "He/She's not the man/woman I married" be grateful that we're ALL a work in progress and that His plans are way bigger and even cooler than anything we could ever imagine.

So, if you're ever in Noxapater or even just passing through, stop in and see us! Our door will always be open and there will likely be sweet tea (and Dr. Pepper!) to share on our porch swing! I might even learn to cook...Wait. Nope. They'll just have to love me anyway!

On Being The Cleavers

Until recently, I kind of had this idyllic idea of the lives of those in ministry. I imagined the households ran and the relationships functioned a lot like The Cleavers. You remember Ward and June, and their mannerly and oh-so cooperative boys, Wally and "The Beave"? In my mind, husbands and wives communicated openly. Children were well-behaved and mannerly, even in their mischief. Parents talked in loving, even tones to their children...

...and then it hit me. That's US. We are "the family in ministry"...and we are so NOT The Cleavers.

We're impatient.

Our boys are...well, "active." I'll just leave it at that.

We raise our voices too often (See previous two statements). 

We don't always get up early to have our quiet times. 

We frequently make poor decisions about how to spend our time and oftentimes, our money.

We don't communicate well.

We're snappy and sarcastic and sometimes just downright mean to one another.

We struggle with temptations...and the guilt from sins when we give in.

And that's just the half of it, people.

When Jeff decided to start seminary and work toward becoming a full-time minister, I'll be honest, I panicked. I am NOT preacher's wife material. I'm opinionated and speak my mind (READ: I struggle with the "submissive wife" role). I'm loud (and some might add obnoxious). I take on too much and forget things too often. Just pray for his churches now, people!

Ministers (and their families!) are not perfect. They flawed human beings with a sin nature just like everyone else. The life of full-time ministry is not glamorous or easy. It's busy and chaotic and for us, often feels like a game of tag - "You have bible study and I have the kids." TAG. "You're it. I have prayer group and you need to feed the boys." 

I feel like we often meet ourselves coming and going - and now that we are BOTH in ministry, well, we're just hanging on and praying our kids make it to school some days. 

We are not The Cleavers, and honestly, we don't want to be. We make mistakes, own them and then, try to learn from them. Our children act up, and we discipline them in love to correct them and (hopefully) grow them into Godly young men with a passion for bringing others to Christ. As a couple, we argue and fight too often and don't make time in our lives for date nights often enough. Outside our home, it's not much better. We frequently hurt others (albeit unintentionally) and often miss many opportunities to help because of our own busyness and preoccupation with self. 

It's not easy and it's certainly not getting easier in our household. Our boys are getting older...and so are we. (Blah...that's for another post.) 

In short, our lives are pretty much a mess.

BUT (and here's the most important part!) we know that our God will sustain us through the rough times. He always has and His promises assure us, He always will. In the chaos, I cling to John 16:33: 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. 

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

He continually turns the mess that is our lives into something beautiful and this chaos will feel like a blip when it comes to spending eternity in heaven. Until that time, we must work hard to ensure that everyone we know will be there with us. We must carry His message of HOPE and MERCY to the ends of the earth...no matter how weary we get in doing so.

And just for the record, we are NOT The Cleavers.

You'll Get What You Give

"Anything worth having is worth working for."

"You get out of life what you put into it."

I've heard these cliches - and others like them - all my life. I may have even used them a time or two urging my college students to place higher value on hard work. But, increasingly, I see the need to be reminded that these same "life" principles are even more important when applied to our spiritual life.

As a youth minister's and soon-to-be preacher's wife, I am sensitive (perhaps, overly sensitive) to comments like,"I just don't get anything out of church." or "I just don't feel like I'm growing spiritually here." It's hard not to get snarky and ask the obvious, "Well, what are you putting into your church or your spiritual growth?" (Yeah, being a preacher's wife is NOT going to be an easy role for me.)

(Side note: I know this post is not going to make me any friends. If you're already feeling uncomfortable, you should probably use the back button in the top left corner and just forget you ever stopped by this post.)

Many people leave a church - or just stop going to church at all - claiming they're not "getting anything" from it. I have a couple of things to say about that (Side note: I have to speak my peace now before I'm "officially" a preacher's wife and have to don the big hat and sit on the second pew "Amen!"-ing my dear husband while silently praying my boys don't do anything worthy of a call from the Pastor-Parrish Committee during the Sunday activities). 

Here goes...

First, worship is not about YOU - worship is about HIM. The point of worship is to acknowledge the Creator of all the universe and His goodness - not for you to come get a weekly "fix" or emotion-filled "high" because of some flashy production or praise music. If that happens, fantastic! Lift those hands and let the tears flow - He will rejoice in your praise and be glad you have entered into His presence if your worship is authentic. But your worship should also be daily, hourly, really, each minute as He reveals Himself to you in your surroundings - not just at 11 a.m. Sunday. 

Second, you will "get" from your church what you put into it. So if you're struggling, maybe it's time to really evaluate what you're putting into it. If you're just attending church on Sunday (at best), but not plugged into a Sunday School class, small group, prayer group, mission-focused efforts or other activities, what do you really expect? Growth can't happen in one hour one day a week. If you only tended a garden an hour a week, it would never yield a return. So, seriously. Why would you honestly expect the same of your relationship with The Lord?

If you're struggling with your church's style of worship, prayerfully consider approaching your church leadership with your concerns and inquire about how you help bring about change. If you can't find a Sunday School class that fits your "needs" - prayerfully consider starting one. There may be others looking for the same style of teaching you desire. If you can't find a small group/prayer group that meets your needs - prayerfully consider starting one. Everyone needs accountability and small groups are a perfect environment for that. If you want to be involved in more mission-related activities - prayerfully consider organizing them. There is no greater way to grow your own spiritual life than to feed that of others. If your kids aren't going regularly to their small group or activities - make them (or don't blame us when they act like hoodlums. Just sayin'.). 

"There are too many opportunities for growth on our calendar," said no preacher or church staff member EVER. But, please note the PRAYERFULLY CONSIDER before each action. If He is guiding your new opportunities, you can be confident He will bless them and they will flourish.

For those of you still reading and not vowing to never speak to me again, can we agree it's time to stop making excuses and blaming others for our lack of spiritual growth? After all, that's why it's a PERSONAL relationship with Christ (Can I get an "AMEN!).

I feel strongly about this for two reasons:

1. See paragraphs above about being a youth minister's and soon-to-be preacher's wife.

2. I've been there. I've been the "complainer" - the explorer looking for something more exciting and more emotional to get my fix. My spiritual growth began when I quit making worship and church about ME and what I wanted/needed/liked - and turned my heart to HIM and what He wants/needs/likes from me. When we fix our eyes on Him and His greatness - and for me, His amazing grace because I am such a wreck - nothing should overwhelm our hearts to the point of all-out worship and adoration.

Stepping down from my soap box and here's to hoping we can still be friends...

Musings from the Mower

Today, I mowed the yard. Don't misunderstand. I'm not bragging or asking for some kind of an award. This happens fairly often. We have a riding mower and a really big yard (Read: "Quiet" time to myself to get lost in my thoughts.).

The view from my porch

(In case you want to enjoy the fruits of my labor, I've included a picture. That's some good looking grass, right?)

So, as I was tooling around the yard this afternoon, God brought to mind the situation that led us to this house. It was messy and painful; I thought Jeff and I were both going to lose our minds. Our house sold unexpectedly (Read: Not on the market, showed it on a whim, moved out a month later) and we thought we had a place to rent. That place fell through three weeks before our closing date. In Louisville, Miss., rental property (that's not sketchy!) is scarce anyway and now we were really scrambling. I won't go through all the crazy details of the other three things that were "lined up" and fell through (at least not in this post) but we finally had a solution...10 days before closing. 

Our things were scattered all over Winston County in long-term storage, short-term storage, temporary rental (five to six weeks, we hoped) and at our soon-to-be home. Now, I should probably also add the context that Jeff was in his first semester of seminary, and I was in the promotion and tenure process at Mississippi State to keep my job. Let's just say, tension was running high around the Walton house.

I remember so many moments of frustration wondering how God could possibly make this mess "right." How could He possibly make good on His promise to provide for "all my needs" (Philippians 4:19) when I was having trouble getting dressed in the morning or cooking a meal because I couldn't find ANYTHING?!

But here I sit. On my front porch writing this post. Our rental house is now "home" and God has more than met our needs. Our home is a little larger with a much larger yard (Read: Lots of space for two energetic little boys) and we pay less in rent than we did for our mortgage. The family we are renting from is an amazing Christian family and our rent helps cover the costs of caring for their aging mother (Also a preacher's wife - shout out to my sister!). While I couldn't see this ending eight months ago when I was digging through a several dozen boxes in the middle of the night trying to find a bundt pan because I wanted to make a blessed cake (Grrr, stupid stress cravings!), I see it now. 

I see how the other rental situation would have been a train wreck for us. I see how we are now in a situation that allows us to move at anytime without worry about selling a house or breaking a lease agreement. I see that our boys love having a yard and a pasture to romp around in without the fears of neighborhood living. And I see how the situation has been able to move us toward a position to make other decisions (see previous post) with less fear about the financial implications. 

Sometimes we have to let go of the reigns so God can rain down His blessings...in His time...and in His way. I'm learning. Slowly, but surely. 

So, there you have it - my musings from the mower. Amazing what a few spins around the yard on a riding mower can do for the soul. Now, I should go clean my house.

Our home