One Step at a Time...

Goals. I live for them. Big ones, small ones – I just need them to keep me moving…and in the right direction. A day without a “to do” list is not a good day. So, when I’m focused on a goal or a task, there’s very little that can distract me or pull me off course.

About 15 years ago, I set out to achieve the goal of becoming a tenured faculty member at research-focused university. Well, last week, that goal was realized. The Mississippi IHL Board approved the recommendation by the Mississippi State University President to tenure me and promote me to Associate Professor.

Monday, I resigned.

You see, I had MY goals and MY life plan (for about the next 20 years, if I’m being honest) but in those plans, had forgotten to account for God’s plans for my life.  A few years ago, He began to subtly change my course. When the earthquake struck Port Au Prince in 2010, I couldn’t turn away from the news coverage. It had an impact on me like no other natural disaster. I was 9 months pregnant with sweet Eli and knew going to Haiti (at that point) was not exactly an option (and if we’re being honest, wrote most of it off to pregnancy hormones!). But the desire to help didn’t subside and I began to look for other avenues to help…and found plenty (including learning how to sew, but that’s for another post!).

As my baby boy got older, I knew it was time to start exploring the possibility of going, and I traveled to Haiti for the first time in June 2012 (Thank you, Fairview Baptist for saying “Yes!” to me crashing your trip!). God allowed my heart to be completely broken for the people of Haiti, specifically for the area of Anse A Pitres. I fell in love with the organization I traveled with as well, as its mission fit my heart’s desire. When I returned, I began to volunteer my skills and time to help the organization grow and increase its visibility. I returned to Haiti in February 2013 (again, thanks to those who let me crash their trip!) with Hispaniola MountainMinistries (HMM), and that was when HIS plans for me and my skills, my talents, and my time began to become more evident.

 

HMM Medical Mission to Recif - February 2013

In just a few days, I will leave for my third trip to Haiti in the last year. It’s hard to believe (and I’m finally not crashing a trip! I helped plan this one!) and it’s amazing to see how God has continued to open doors for me to serve in this country. I am thrilled to (finally!) be traveling with my sweet husband as well as 20 other amazing people!

 

FUMC Louisville Haiti Mission Team - May 2013

When we return to the U.S. on June 1, I will be the Director of Communication for HMM. There is no job description. No salary line (YIKES!). No clear expectations or neat list of things "to do." At the same time, there is also not a lot of  “We’ve always done it this way." or “The person before you did this way.” either (YAY!). I am excited to see how God uses the HMM team He is putting together to continue to improve the lives of the people in the Dominican Republic and Haiti.

Leaving the security of an academic appointment (especially one I have worked so hard to earn) was likely the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. I prayed for ‘burning bush’ moments or big billboards from God to affirm my direction and assure me I was on the right track. And He came through – oftentimes in bigger ways than I could have imagined. I wish I could say that His affirmation made writing that letter of resignation and leaving my position easier…but I’m human, and giving up comfort and security is not easy. But God continues to place the right people, situations, songs, verses, etc…in my life and in my heart at just the right moment to continue to move (ok, sometimes push) me in the right direction. Further, He opened doors for me to continue my halftime employment with the MSU SSRC.

I am anxious about so many things and the first time Jeff used the “m” word (missionary), it terrified me – the responsibility of that word is heavy. But then I remembered, He calls us ALL to be missionaries. Every day. In every situation. At home. At work. At the baseball field. At the gym. At the beach. In the checkout line at the grocery store. Our lives should reflect His amazing love and mercy in every situation so I’m (slowly) becoming more comfortable with that word…even though Jeff still jokes I’m going to be eaten by a lion. :-P

God doesn’t call us to live an easy life; He calls us to live a life where our weaknesses are revealed so that His power can be made clearly evident to others (2 Corinthians 12:9). Will these next steps be difficult? YES! Will raising support be trying and oftentimes frustrating? It’s likely. Will there be days when I miss the security of my old job? Maybe. But I am confident He has this and that I'm acting in accordance with His will for me and my family...and I’m trusting that even in the difficulties, He will be there.

Walton Family-
May 2013

So, here we go on this journey. A journey like none I’ve ever taken before…where the steps are not clearly laid out and neatly arranged (like I'd prefer it).

I humbly ask that you pray for my family as we begin this journey, and also that you be in prayer for the ministries of HMM. We will be sending more information about ways you can partner with us soon, and I hope you will prayerfully consider supporting this amazing ministry!

Until then…it’s one step at a time. 

Anse a Pitres, Haiti - HMM Promise Land Project

One week...but so far away

It's one week until my birthday and I'm not even close to reaching my goal. Well, kind of.

I'm basically where I started...kind of. If the goal was to lose 7 pounds before my birthday, and I've gained 5 pounds and then lost them, then I'm still in pretty good shape, right? Unfortunately, the goal was to lose 7 pounds AND be a certain weight (Sidebar: This is a good lesson for my PR students in making goals singular - an individual/organization can achieve one part of a goal and not the other!). When setting the original goal, I also failed to account for Riley being away at Disney World for EIGHT DAYS last week and the fact that I would "need" cookies to get through the week as well as the introduction of Valentine's Day candy EVERYWHERE (Sidebar: This also provides great material regarding setting realistic goals for my PR students!).

To end on a positive, last week was a good running week. I was able to get in three runs for 12.5 miles. I'll take that after the previous week...which I'm just embarrassed about.

So, how are you doing with YOUR goals in 2012?

Trying New Things

I have a birthday next month. I am not what you might call "excited" about it, but it does provide an easy deadline for reaching a goal. I've put on about 4 pounds over the holidays that I need to shed. And another 3 would get me into a weight range I haven't seen in about 6 months. Goal created...

To lose 7 pounds by February 6.

There it is...in writing. That comes to about 1.5 pounds a week. Very do-able. Yesterday, I cut my Dr. Pepper consumption in half from the previous couple of days, which should help a lot. I ran 3.5 miles, did 100 crunches and a 2-minute plank (feeling the effects of the caffeine reduction and the ab work, by the way!). Good start.

Today is Sunday - a somewhat hectic day at our house because of Jeff's position with our church. That hecticness - coupled with my disdain for cooking - has resulted in the routine visit to our local Mexican restaurant every Sunday after church. Today, Jeff and I split an entree. It saved us $10 (that's $40 a month and $480 over a year, BTW). More significant to the current goal, it saved us BOTH a lot of calories and from the temptation of overeating. Baby steps, people. Baby steps toward getting back on track.

I'll keep you posted as we try new things and I work on reaching my birthday goal...

If you have "little things" that help, please share! I'd love to have more ideas for reaching my goal!

Disaster Averted

When I re-read my last post, I realized it was pretty whiney...so thanks for not calling me out on that! Apparently, the whining worked though!

Since then, the scale has moved! I weighed 159.0 this morning!! Woot, Woot! I haven't seen 150-something in a LONG time, my friends (Just for the record, I actually saw 158.4 three of the 17 times I weighed - I couldn't believe my eyes and just wanted to stare at the number!!). While I can't attribute it completely to healthy eating and working out because I participated in the 30-Hour Famine with our youth group Friday and Saturday, I'll take it! This brings my total weight loss in just over a year to around 74 pounds!

And second, and probably most importantly, I've had a major break-thru with my running this weekend. 

When running causes more stress than it's relieving,

something's out of balance and needs to be changed. 

To understand this, I need to go back in my journey a little. Last March, I started running. My overall goal for running was to lose weight and get my health back. Knowing how my brain operates, I set a long-term goal to run the St. Jude's 1/2 Marathon in December. This was my motivation to keep running (and justify all the money I was spending on gear, but I digress...). I did St. Jude's in December and in the delirium of my runner's high, I signed up for the Frostbite 1/2 marathon in January (five weeks later!)...and I did that, too. I was really ready for some time off - as in no-pressure-running-just-to-run time off. 

Instead of listening to my body (and my mind!), I began training for the Country Music 1/2 Marathon (April 30) and invited my sister-in-law to join me (it would be her first 1/2!). As the semester picked up speed (no pun intended, runners!), I fell behind in my training and even struggled to get my shorter runs in during the week; then, I began to struggle making time for long runs. All the struggling was stressing me out and stealing the joy of my running. It felt like one of the other million things I HAD to do in the day/week. It was causing more stress than it was relieving!

My sister-in-law (who I swear wears an "S" for Super Woman under her clothes) also had trouble getting in her training runs. In our womanly wisdom, we decided this weekend to nix the 1/2 and just plan a fun visit! We'll have a wonderful weekend with them and will go for a long run, just the two of us, for a distance of our own choosing without battling 30,000+ other runners Since we made this decision, I can't even begin to explain how relieved I've felt!

So relieved, in fact, that I went for a run tonight (on my rest day!) - JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO! It felt amazing to run without worrying about distance or pace or anything - I just ran to run! I didn't HAVE to - I really WANTED to!

Some of you will read this and think I'm copping out and that's ok. I know hard-core runners will criticize, but what I think I did was avoid the fast-track to burnout. One of the purposes for my continued running is to relieve (some) stress in my life. It's relaxing and provides me some alone time to decompress. Because the other obligations in my life creating obstacles for my training plan, running was actually causing me stress. Defeats the purpose a little...

So, what's my plan now?

Three to four runs per week of varying distances (3-5 miles) with one mid to long run (6-8 miles) on the weekend depending on time and weather. May also try three runs and a kettle bell workout some weeks.

And my advice to others (new or old runners): Listen to your body! If you need a break from race training, take it. There's always another race to train for and no one's going to take your "runner card" just because you're not "in training" for something.

"S" is for Struggle

CONFESSION: This week has been abysmal in terms of my training for the Country Music Half Marathon (April 30). Today is Thursday, and I have run 8 miles so far this week. Further, I did not do a long run last week. Ugh.

Some reasons for this?

1. Work is killing me. Being on this side of the "end of the semester" is no easier than it was as a student. In fact, I might argue it's actually worse. I have tenure looming over my head so the pressure for research productivity is weighing heavy, a stack of papers that need to be graded so the students can move forward with their final projects, exams to make out, interns to hire for the summer, I'm chairing one search committee and serving on another, we've been in the midst of academic advising for the fall...Ok. You get the point. At the end of the day (which has been closer to 6 or 7 lately), I'm spent and the last thing I've felt like doing is lacing up the sneaks and going for a run. And then there's...

2. The overwhelming "Mom guilt." When I have to work more, my time at home is even more precious. It's pretty hard to give up those few awake hours I have with my boys - for whatever comes up or "needs" to be done. Enough said.

3. I'm really lacking commitment to the Country Music 1/2 marathon goal because I still haven't registered. I need to commit, pay the money and plan the trip (See reason number 1 for why I'm having trouble committing to taking a day off).

4. The scale's not budging. Over the past year, I've been able to see the results of my efforts - in my clothes and on the scale - and this has been a significant source of motivation. I think my scale might be broken because it hasn't moved in several weeks. While I know this is not what I should be worried about, it does motivate me as I'm a results-oriented kind of gal.

5. Oh, and the weather has really been miserable. It was so beautiful a few weeks ago, and I was loving spring running. Enter cold, rainy weather. Yuck. 

So, there you have it. My confessional for the week: I am struggling. I have a list of reasons why, but I guess if I have to find a bright side - I am working on finding solutions for all the issues and getting my groove back. 

Stay tuned...

Busy-ness is not a friend to running

This week has been nuts and next week is not looking much better! I know I am entirely too busy when I don't have time to get a run in, or at the end of the day, I don't have a run left in me. Last week, I think my total mileage was less than 15 miles and this week, I'm at 9.5 miles with only two days left. Ugh!

This is what happens to my running when there is no race on the horizon, thus I continue to preach the importance of having something to work toward to keep you accountable. If you want to start running, but don't think you "have time" - signing up for a race forces you to MAKE time. No one wants to shell out the cash for a race and be a no show or not be able to do your best!

So, next week, I will be committing to a race in March. I'm pretty sure my next 1/2 will be in April in Nashville, but I will also be seeking out something before then. I'm open to suggestions if there's a 10K nearby.

Happy weekend!

More Water, Less Dr. Pepper Wrap-up

The more-water-less-Dr. Pepper challenge officially ended yesterday. I would love to report it was a smashing success and my plan to "ween" myself from Dr. Pepper was well on its way. Unfortunately, I got a little off-track after the Frostbite 1/2 marathon.

There were only a couple of days when I drank a Dr. Pepper after my 2 p.m. "curfew," but my water intake declined drastically - in fact, there were some days I doubt I even drank 20 ounces of water. I really can't explain it and I'm frustrated with myself for going backwards; I was doing so well. In fact, going into that weekend, there were several days I only had one Dr. Pepper. And then in my I-just-ran-a-half-marathon-so-I-can-eat-whatever-I-want phase, I got off track. Ugh.

Tomorrow is a new day and February is a new month. I will do this...

Back at it

Today, I ran! Not because my training schedule said I had to, but because I really wanted to. It was awesome! Pace was decent (10:14 for 4 miles). Weather was perfect (58 degrees).

I did have one purpose for the run; I wanted to reach "blue" level with my Nike+ so I set out to run the four miles it said I need to get there. For those not familiar with Nike+, here is the breakdown for the different levels:

• Yellow:  0 - 30 miles
• Orange:  31 - 154 miles
• Green:  155 - 620 miles
• Blue:  621 - 1,552 miles
• Purple:  1,553 - 3,106 miles
• Black:  over 3,107 miles

Just uploaded my run data....and I'm .67 miles short. Seriously? So, because I'm goal-obsessed and can't stand the thought of being that close, I'll be getting up at 6 a.m. tomorrow to do a quick 3-mile run before work. When I think about the fact that I've run over 621 miles in less than 9 months (started using Nike+ to track mileage last May), it's a little overwhelming. But that's for another post...

Does having goals keep you motivated? I don't know that I could/would stay on track without having a goal or something to work toward. I think that's why I do races. They give me a deadline to be physically and mentally prepared to run a given distance. Trust me, it's not because I think I'll win! ;-)

If you struggle with persistence and sticking to your work-out plan, sign up for a race! Maybe the deadline will be what you need to help keep you moving!

Have a great weekend and happy running!